I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
