i already hear my dad disowning me
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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