i think my mom watched the whole time
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
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I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
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This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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