so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Boobs are out for the taking
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
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