Little spoons don't ask big questions
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize