Those balls look pretty dangerous.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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