Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
