i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
