Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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