i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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