tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
