I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
