Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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