We won't sleep together?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
