I hate all girls vehemently.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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