Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
