make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
