I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
