what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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