the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts