It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
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I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
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I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"