This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN