I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We're too hungover to prance.