Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Girls should come with a carfax report
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
