I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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