its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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