I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
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Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
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We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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