All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
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You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
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Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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