OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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