i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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