I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
