did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
there was a trapeze. enough said
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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