i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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