Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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