So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize