She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
