There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
