Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
