no, he came in my armpit
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
