Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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