Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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