i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
