I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We had sex on a dog bed..
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
