I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
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It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
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We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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