You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Do vagina's smell?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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