i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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