Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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