I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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