apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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