i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
