Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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