how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
