Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
this just has baby written all over it
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btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
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I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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