even my farts smell like vagina
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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