omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
