You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
