if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
