Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
