You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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