Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You ruined the universe
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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